The "Mom Identity": Why We Actually Deserve That Break

At some point between the third diaper change and the fourth load of laundry, it happens to the best of us: we look in the mirror and realize we don’t quite recognize the woman looking back. The person who once had distinct hobbies, a career drive, or even just a favorite playlist has been replaced by "Mom."

I’m writing this because I’m right there with you. I know the feeling of being "on" 24/7, and I’ve realized that this isn’t just exhaustion—it’s a full-blown identity crisis. When our entire day is dedicated to everyone else's needs, our own sense of self becomes a background character.

And honestly? I need to hear this advice just as much as you do.

We often feel guilty for wanting ten minutes of peace, but these escapes are actually essential maintenance for our souls.

• The Target Run: It’s never just about the milk or the diapers. It’s about walking through an aisle at our own pace, holding a coffee that is actually hot, and making decisions that don’t involve a negotiation with a toddler. It’s a sensory reset that reminds us we are individuals.

• The Gym Session: Moving our bodies reminds us that our physical selves belong to us. Whether it’s heavy lifting or just a slow walk on the treadmill, that time is about reclaiming our strength and clearing the "mom fog."

• Drinks with Friends: This is perhaps the most vital "escape" of all. Sitting down for a drink with friends isn't about the cocktail; it’s about uninterrupted conversation. It’s hearing your own name instead of "Mom," laughing until your stomach hurts, and remembering that you are part of a village that sees you, not just your to-do list.

There’s a myth that being a "good mom" means being entirely selfless. But the truth is, self-care isn't selfish; it’s foundational. When we take that hour for ourselves, we aren’t taking away from our kids—we are giving them a version of us that is more patient, more present, and more energized.

Bottom Line: We aren't "sneaking away." We are tending to the women who make the whole household run. We deserve the break, the workout, the quiet aisle, and the night out with the girls.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go follow my own advice before I start instinctively rocking the grocery cart back and forth even though there isn't a baby in it.